The Machine Mashes Week Four

Phew!  Sorry for the delay folks.  Our writers went on strike for higher wages or less physical abuse or something... who knows.  Well anyway, we fired them and brought on a new staff of outsourced peasant children willing to work without bathroom breaks.  Diapers are apparently really cheap in third world countries. 

Well, we'll try to consolidate a bit here.  Last week the Mean Green Scoring Machine routed both the Please Help Me Museum as well as The Bishop's Chowder (aka 'Big John's Rape Cave').  Scoring a combined 32 runs between the two games, the Machine spread out it's offense like only the culturally refined can.  Notable Griffons Cara "ccHooch" Croke and Ronya "Flash" Gordon contributed in a big way against the Help Me Museum with multiple hits in key situations.  Newcomer Jeremy McCc(allenlin?)tock?  took the leadoff position by storm against 'The Rape Cave' scoring big runs early and flashing ridiculous leather at third and short.  It goes without saying the the Vets joined the hit parade.  Joey Fo' went yard on Monday and The Iron Man added three dingers in two days.  All in all, it was a good week with The Machine getting two W's behind some serious clout at the dish. 

PMA Fantasy Tracker:
Janette definitely takes the fantasy crown this week.  After The Machine pillaged a case of beer in two innings against the Please 'Come to Our' Museum, Janette took it upon herself to invoke a two case minimum that can only go up from there.  O yeah, and after an assassination attempt by The Rape Cave, by means of an "errant" throw to the head, Janette regained consciousness and immediately asked for a beer.  It's true grit and executive decisions like these that built this country. 

What To Watch For:
I don't want to sound too presumptuous, but I have a sneeking suspicion The Franklin Science-mongers are going to want to cancel their upcoming game with The Machine due to inclement weather.  I'm not claiming clairvoyance, but I know something most don't.  We'll keep you posted.

Really?
Science is fake.  Fact.  There, it's been said - in print.  Gravity was invented in 1680... 1680 was invented in 4713 B.C.E.

V.J. Siting:
No sign of Vince Jones this week.  We're hoping he didn't fly too close to the sun.  Damn wax wings.  Gamespeed Vince, gamespeed.